I have been away from this site for over a month, it seems like an age! I have been travelling from Holland to Spain and organising my life. During this time I have been thinking about ‘Male eXperience’, its direction, its future and how it relates to your life. It’s going well and getting recognition around the net. It is doing its job, helping you look at yourself. But is this enough, is this its true focus? Can I focus the site more accurately, to achieve better results, to gain more depth and to help you in a more identifiable way.

In pursuit of this greater focus I see three areas that I need to get clarity on. They are:

What is ‘Male eXperience’ for?

Who is its target audience?

What is the issue that causes the greatest pain?

What Is ‘Male eXperience’ For?

The direction of ‘Male eXperience’ has always been towards help and education for you. It’s aim is to demonstrate how you, as a man, can behave in this modern age, how you can be with yourself and how you can relate to women. There plenty sites that can help you understand how to dress, how to be a dad, how important sports are or even how to date a woman. What I think is needed is help for you on how to improve yourself as a man and how to relate to women.

Most men experience emotional pain, I know I have been there. What we find difficult is expressing that pain and seeking help for it. We know we want to change, we just don’t know how. It is my intention to show you how, what you need to do to become the man who lives the life you seek.

Does this align with your view? Is this why you come to the site? What am I not seeing? How can I improve what the site offers?

Who Is Its Target Audience?

In my mind I am speaking to two men.

• You are in your 30′s, you do not have a relationship and are looking for one. You are trying to establish yourself as a man and finding that what you relied on in the past doesn’t work any more. You find that your upbringing hampers your growth and you are unsure about who you are.
• You are in your 50′s, you have are in a long-term relationship which you find is not working any more. You don’t know whether to move on or try a new approach. You are looking for ways to change your view on who you are. You find that your approach, as a man, is wanting and you are looking for a new way.

This does not exclude others of you who can still find help and guidance. Do you fall within these categories, are you getting the help you want?

What Is The Issue That Causes The Greatest Pain?

This is perhaps the crux of what I am doing. Isolating this will open the way to helping thousands, perhaps millions, of men. I am currently looking at two issues:

• When you do not feel you are showing up as a man in the world and do not feel that people respect you. There is a level of presence and certainty that establishes men as as ‘masculine’, when this is not there for you the effect can be devastating and can cause you great pain. Usually this situation results from a your upbringing and education rather from any innate lack in you.
• When you find it difficult to relate to women. You either cannot form lasting relationships or you find that the ones you do have are painful or destructive. This usually stems from a your view of yourself rather an inability with women as such.

Have you found these areas painful? What has hurt you? Where is your pain now?

Focus on Men Survey

To help me understand who I am speaking to and what the issues are that most exercise you I have attached below a short survey for you to complete. This will give me vital information and help me help you. It will only take a few minutes.

Thank you completing the survey, your contribution will not only help ‘Male eXperience’ but also men worldwide. If you have any further comments either on the survey as a whole or on the general issues raised please use the comments below.

(Note: If it doesn’t appear it’s because you have already completed it!)

Technorati Tags: certainty, education, emotional pain, pain, Power, Presence, Relationships, women

Gary Stamper in “Beyond Integral” has recently written on the importance of polarity in relationships. From my own experience I totally agree with him. Polarity is possibly the most vital element in a living relationship.

What is it about polarity that is so important. Thinking about it after reading Gary’s post I realised it is very basic:

1. Polarity creates energy and relationships are about energy. Energy gives them life and makes them exciting. I have learnt a great deal on this through Tantra where energy is everything.
2. Polarity usually ensures that both sides in the relationship are in their core. It is critical that each person is at ease with themself and is comfortable with how the other is. Polarity reveals so much about this.
3. Polarity ensures their is no confusion in the relationship. Each knows his/her contribution to it and each enjoys the contribution of the other.
4. Polarity creates great sex, on both sides. This is important for the longevity of the relationship.

It was fashionable when I was younger for men and women to seek equality in their relationships, I remember looking for this myself. It seemed fair to give the woman equal say in what happened and for the man to equally contribute. There is no reason why polarity cannot include elements of this. A re-awakened relationship will take the best of the past and integrate it into a new, exciting, energetic relationship.

Technorati Tags: energy, Female, Male, Men, Polarity, Relationships