Gary Stamper in “Beyond Integral”, who knows a thing or two about relationships, has recently written on the importance of polarity in intimate relationships.
He said, “I have a friend who doesn’t get the importance of sexual polarity in a relationship. He loves that they are in a balanced relationship, each holding equal parts of the masculine and feminine. I guess it works for them, but for me it would like pushing two north poles of magnets together, repelling each other. They are great friends, but not intimate. It’s definitely safe, but certainly not passionate. They are great roommates. I am happy for them, but it’s not what I want in an intimate relationship. it feels flat to me. The masculine and feminine are like two magnets, and the principle of polarity also applies to intimate relationships: if you put their north and south poles together, they attract each other.”
From my own experience I totally agree with him. Polarity is possibly the most vital element in living intimate relationships.
What is it about Polarity in Intimate Relationships that is so important?
Thinking about it after reading Gary’s post about the importance of relationships, I realised it is very basic:
- Polarity creates energy and intimate relationships are about energy. Energy gives them life and makes them exciting. I have learnt a great deal on this through Tantra where energy is everything.
- Polarity usually ensures that both sides in intimate relationships are in their core. It is critical that each person is at ease with themself and is comfortable with how the other is. Polarity reveals so much about this.
- Polarity ensures their is no confusion in intimate relationships. Each knows his/her contribution to it and each enjoys the contribution of the other.
- Polarity creates great sex, on both sides. This is important for the longevity of intimate relationships.
It was fashionable when I was younger for men and women to seek equality in their intimate relationships, I remember looking for this myself. It seemed fair to give the woman equal say in what happened in the relationship and for the man to equally contribute. There is no reason why polarity cannot include elements of this. Re-awakened intimate relationships will take the best of the past and integrate it into a new, exciting, energetic relationship.
What is your experience of Polarity in Intimate Relationships?